This was another weird one.
Well, i like, lived in my house with all my friends kinda. but then my camp was my house. but then it was like a mall-store that was my camp and all my friends were there. and i was friends with The Todd from Scrubs. And i was shopping for underwear and asking his advice on which ones to get. But i couldn’t find him and then i got lost and found my way into a like… restroom/changing room place. and it was huge. so i’m walking down this aisle of doors and i run into two of my friends -who are going out with each other- and someone farts, and my guy friend says it was me, but i just keep walking and go into one of the doors to use the restroom. but while im going, these two little boys show up in the stall and one of them is telling me that i cant be in there and that hes mad at me and such. and i keep trying to get him out and he finally leaves. and when i finally leave, im carrying these planks of wood for the camp and im in my room and listening in on the camp meeting. i notice there are alot of names carved into the planks of wood. so i go to take them outside and my two friends i saw before are sitting outside my door. i say hi and keep walking, then i see this huge bug and its scary looking so i throw a book at it to squash it. it lands on the bug but it dosent die, and it starts flying at me, so i freak out and run to my room and shut the door. my friends sitting outside finally convince me to open th door, and the bug flies in so i run out screaming. i dont really remember some of this part. i know i was at my boyfriends house walking around the neighborhood and there was a natural disaster of some kind happening. but i do remember the next part. i was in my room, but it wasnt my house. and one of my guy friends that i dont see too often was there. and he was drunk or something. but we were sitting on my bed talking and he kept getting close to me, and he kissed me. and i didnt kiss back. but i didnt pull away. i think because i was in shock. and after that i kept telling him not to tell anyone about it, and that it was just a mistake, and he kept questioning me. then he did it again and more agressively. and i couldnt do anything about it. and i tried to pull away. and my alarm woke me up at that point. im kindof weirded out though.
cause i felt bad because i had a boyfriend. but it sad or anger. it was fear.
idk. right now my mind is quite unstable. like, im trying to find a therapist before i do anything super stupid.
I dont want to breakup with my boyfriend, but i feel like were not clicking like we used to. its depressing, really.
blaghfcbdsfbwea
yah….
